Why are we so scared to talk about care at the end of life? Death panels. Hospice and palliative care. Living wills. Five Wishes. It is hard to separate fact from fiction.
Besides the challenging health-care decisions associated with a severe accident or illness, everyone should have a chance to live a meaningful life in their final days and months. In addition to helping to manage pain, doctors, nurses, counselors, family members, and friends can help those with limited abilities or close to their final days to get more out of life.
Everyone knows that a will is an important document. We should all discuss the need for an advance directive (living will) as well. How would you want to live your final days? If you were involved in an accident, what types of life-saving or life-prolonging measures would you want if you were severely injured? Who would you want to make vital health-care decisions for you, if you are not able to?
Five Wishes is a project of Aging with Dignity, and it helps individuals and families to start these discussions.
- Five Wishes helps you express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself.
- It is unique among all other living will and health agent forms because it speaks to all of a person's needs: medical, personal, emotional and spiritual.
- Five Wishes also helps structure discussions with your family and physician.
- It has been translated into more than twenty languages and braille.
Many press reports talk about how Sen. Edward Kennedy was the first of his brothers to be able to anticipate his death. Since the diagnosis of a severe brain cancer last year, Sen. Kennedy was able to get his affairs in order. This included personal, business, and legislative interests. He was also able to concentrate on the relationships and hobbies that were important to him. Sen. Kennedy continued to sail and spend time with his family and pets. His wife continued to have dinner parties at their home until close to his death.
We should all get our affairs in order. More importantly, we should start the difficult conversations with our families, and we should concentrate on living our lives to their fullest, finding meaning in each and every day.
Dear Ted,
ReplyDeleteI read your blog about Advance Directives and the difference it can make among families. And, yes....it is a difficult conversation to have. I recently brought up this topic with my husband whose father is 95years and becoming more frail. Even my husband, whose wife is a nurse gerontologist is having difficulty with this topic. The lesson it teaches me is that we need to talk MORE and not less about this issue. Being prepared with Advance Directives give the individual choice for dignity rather than allowing the medical system to make the decisions. I think your blog is timely and important. Thank you.
A thankful reader.